My Daily Odium

from Ashes of Hope by Chalice

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lyrics

Even when I ask myself
Whether to give up or fight
There is something
rotten inside of me

What I have to endure
No one can understand
I try to reach out
But no one will help

When I am angry or sad
I have to withstand
I still don't know
Should I cry or yell

Now I feel I died inside
I can no longer take
I see my hands are tied
There is no escape

To be so empty

To be so blind
To feel so down

To hate my self
To crave for love

To see no light
To only cry

Now I just feel alone
I have to carry this
Now I must admit
I feel no hope

When I look in the mirror
This image fuels my hate
I can try everything
But I feel ashamed

Speaking with those close
Their eyes seem to burn
It feels like even they
Do not understand

When and why have I become
My own object of hate
Dark spawnings arise
From my own mind

To be so empty

To be so blind
To only cry

I alone know
My self hate
With no help
I must live

Dark thoughts
They fuel me
My self control
Is fading away

Staring down
At my hate
Boiling up
I have failed

Reaching for
desperation
Losing
My self control

All i ask
All i beg
Is a way
To end this

In tears
I must decide
whom to kill
Myself or them

Now I know
What to do
The solution
Kill you

I crave
The power
Control to
Destroy you

I only see
my way out
No love
No love for me

Now I know
What to do
The solution is
To kill you