1. |
Amongst the Damned
06:08
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Even amongst the outcast
Even amongst the few
I remain
Alienated Unheard
I persist
I sustain
Feel my burden
Feed my anger
I suffer
I refuse to give up
Hate me
I still remain
The mutual goals
We fight for
I believe
In our mass
I'm unknown
I deplore
Even amongst the outcast
Even amongst the few
I endure
Alienated
Unheard
I sustain
I refuse to give up
Hate me
I still remain
Can't you see - You are not
Can't you feel - You are not
Can't you hear - You are not
Can't you tell - I am not
Feel my burden
Feed my anger
I suffer
In our mass
I am unknown
I deplore
Alienated
Unheard
I sustain
I refuse to give up
Hate me
I still remain
Even amongst the outcast
Even amongst the few
I believe
Can't you see - You are not
Can't you feel - You are not
Can't you hear - You are not
Can't you tell - I am not
When will it be my turn
When will I be heard
When will I take revenge
When will I be one
I remain
One of the damned
I remain
One of the wicked
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2. |
The Age of Fear
04:38
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Welcome
to the age of fear
Living
In constant distrust
Losing
all morals and values
Preaching
with a voice
of hate
The future
now turns black
Hold on
to what we hold dear
Corrupted by a vision of lies
We live in the age of fear
Prophets with their betrayal
Dreaming of an age of fear
Reaching for dystopia
The future is pure fear
Things you are told to do
Are feeding the age of fear
Blind by information
Death is compensation
Hold on to what we hold dear
Progress to the age of fear
Preaching with total hate
All has messed up your fate
To you it is the final solution
only blood and only death
you try to find meaning in life
the failure
of a selfmade God
age of fear
you drown us in
the age of fear
and none of us can prophecise
where it starts and when it's near
The alternatives you're looking for
They force this age of fear
Opinions you all give voice
They are a disgrace to humanity
You have learned to generalise
You feign yourself a false God
For you there is only one side
Hating those against you
All your deeds are justified
when innocence lost all meaning
This barbaric vision of the world
Doesn't warrant your belief
This marginalization you seek
to you it's the solution
Only blood can take back
The persuasion you've received
To you it is the final solution
only blood and only death
you try to find meaning in life
the failure
of a selfmade God
age of fear
you drown us in
the age of fear
and none of us can prophecise
where it starts and when it's near
I don't approve the acts that happened
I am not an oracle that holds the truth
I face this same loss
This final loss
Maybe I could be wrong
Maybe I'm not aware
But I just want to end
this age of fear
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3. |
Eternal Sleep
05:08
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Every Day
I think about
What is going on
What is wrong with me
Everything in my life
Is woefully dedicated
To the suffering
I undergo in this lifespan
This eternal quest
For the truth
Translates into
Total exhaustion
Weary and dazed
I remain alone
It scares me
It determines me
It makes me ashamed
I can no longer escape
My doom is proclaimed
My struggle has begun
How can I trust anyone
If they don't care
Is their concern
actually sincere
The fear that I have
Is blocking me
My uncertainty
Makes me doubt
I even doubt
True friendship
And to confide
Is to get hurt
All I long for
Is eternal sleep
I feel exhausted
Ready to give up
It makes me ashamed
I can no longer escape
My doom is proclaimed
My struggle has begun
Will I
give up
or will I
find peace
I don't know
What to do
My freedom
Is death
Now I look
Into oblivion
In solitude
I will die
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4. |
Musings on the Bank
05:42
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Seems like my chalice is empty
Apparantly, i drank it all the way
Some of the rocks, i carried almost a lifetime
This is the place i can put them down
Death will be both sadness and relief
It brings me sadness and relief
Things became too complex for me
Never thought i would reach this state of mind
But it’s time to make way, full of regrets
No chances left to make things right
All good and bad is said and done
It is said and done
I enjoyed freedom
To make choices
And experienced
The weight
Of the pressure
That comes with it
Pain i had to endure
Assuming one day
I would get rewarded
For it
Pain
Caught in a body
Caught in a skin
Caught in a culture
Caught in a sin
On the bank of the river styx
Looking over my left hand shoulder
Reviewing my living years
I behold the gap between
Childhood dreams
And the path i walked
Goodbye to all my beloved ones
I will think of you until they take my thoughts
Nothing i did was heroic
Nothing i did was in vain
Remember me for what i was
Remember me
Caught in a body
Caught in a skin
Caught in a culture
Caught in a sin
Through layers of mist
I can descry my ferryman
Soon i will stop being
Taking this one, last threshold
So to you i confide
My last thoughts
Goodbye to all my beloved ones
I will think of you untill they take my thoughts
Nothing i did was heroic
Nothing i did was in vain
Remember me for what i was
Remember me
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5. |
My Daily Odium
04:46
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Even when I ask myself
Whether to give up or fight
There is something
rotten inside of me
What I have to endure
No one can understand
I try to reach out
But no one will help
When I am angry or sad
I have to withstand
I still don't know
Should I cry or yell
Now I feel I died inside
I can no longer take
I see my hands are tied
There is no escape
To be so empty
To be so blind
To feel so down
To hate my self
To crave for love
To see no light
To only cry
Now I just feel alone
I have to carry this
Now I must admit
I feel no hope
When I look in the mirror
This image fuels my hate
I can try everything
But I feel ashamed
Speaking with those close
Their eyes seem to burn
It feels like even they
Do not understand
When and why have I become
My own object of hate
Dark spawnings arise
From my own mind
To be so empty
To be so blind
To only cry
I alone know
My self hate
With no help
I must live
Dark thoughts
They fuel me
My self control
Is fading away
Staring down
At my hate
Boiling up
I have failed
Reaching for
desperation
Losing
My self control
All i ask
All i beg
Is a way
To end this
In tears
I must decide
whom to kill
Myself or them
Now I know
What to do
The solution
Kill you
I crave
The power
Control to
Destroy you
I only see
my way out
No love
No love for me
Now I know
What to do
The solution is
To kill you
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6. |
Cult of Serpents
05:56
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In this isolated world
We all search our way
Whether or not our paths
Are predestined
I can only pray
We do it for good
But yet we are confronted
With just the cold
Slowly they creep up
Through our veins
Their final goal
Is undying sorrow
Strangling us
Away from good
Slowly
We'll die
They contribute to the demise
Betrayel, murder and deceit
While those vile creatures
Eat us from the inside out
Searching for their motivation
It can never be found
A sickness never to be cured
Their eel like bodies crawl
Suffocated
Tormented
Ripped
From the inside
Those hatefull creatures
Slowly devouring their prey
It is corrupting us
But it's in our nature
Why do we even try
As they preach anarchy
This cult of serpents
Turning us into humans
Plagued
Broken
Serpents of demise
Tormented
Destroyed
Serpents of insanity
Creeping down
In my blood
It's driving me
Into insanity
I can no longer take
This inner plague
I am no longer
What we call human
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7. |
For You
04:38
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There is no creator
Creation lies in ourselves
I have created
Pure ultimate beauty
I am stunned
At the gift of life
But as the sun goes down
Realisation creeps in
Happiness fades away
I slowly lose my grip
And now I realise
I will do you wrong
I will scar you
As you build a life
I can't protect you
From this beast called life
I'll see you hurt
By our own kind
They'll corrupt you
You must obey
Slowly I'll see
You'll lose innocence
There are limits
To what i can teach
There are limits
To your protection
I am overrun
By this fear
I can't give
What you need
Still for you
I will bleed
Still for you
I will live
Still for you
I will fight
Still for you
I will cry
Knowning all the struggles
That'll confront you
I know I did not do
What I had to do
Knowing I failed
What we call life
This fear is haunting
Tormenting me
I really hope
That you won't be
You won't be
Exactly like me
I am overrun
By this fear
I can't give
What you need
Still for you
I will bleed
Still for you
I will live
Still for you
I will fight
Still for you
I will cry
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8. |
A Death without Warning
06:07
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In silent solitude and in all serenity
I walked the curve towards my final act
All of this occurring beneath
The line of observable behavior
Most of the setbacks in life
I had to deal with on my own
One of them was to process my way through
From the first thought to my final sigh
People will say I was vulnerable
Or that my communication was blocked
I was unable to externalize
Or that my coping was poor
My entrapment provides rest
There is no way back now
I feel a relief now things are clear
I will die the way I‘ve lived…all alone
I have chosen the tools to fight my last battle
my moment to enter the arena
It will be a cry of pain, not a cry for help
As I undress I notice a grin appears
Soothing water is flowing
I take off my watch and check
Whether this really is my moment
I enter, water spills on the floor
Now soon to come
My victory over a life
So endlessly disappointing
As I start cutting,
I feel my strength grow
Making the liberating cut deeper as I go
A stunning sight, me watching my own blood
gulping out of my open arm
I am so proud knowing I dared
It took me 4 years
This is where I enter nothingness
Anywhere is better than here
People left behind are devastated
Tormented by questions with no answers
Searching for signals I might have sent
All of it in vain…a death without warning
A death
A death
A death
A death without warning
But now
I am in the place
Where I belong
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